Twenty Twenty-One in Film

Howdy everyone. Since 2017 (I believe?) I've made one of these year-end lists, ranking all the movies released in the previous year, that I've seen, in order from best to, let's say least-best.

The factors that go into the ranking are all arbitrary, but they include overall quality (obvs), novelty, and rewatchability, as well as many other metrics. For rule sticklers, there are some pre-2021 films in here which were added because their initial release was either outside the U.S., at a film festival, or maybe even both. Add to that COVID's effect on theatrical screenings and my cautious avoidance of the ones there were, and I ended up counting a lot of "released on streaming dates" as "wide release" dates.

There is a method to the madness.

To that end, there are also some short films and some miniseries included on here because that is the way things are trending - streaming services are willing to shell out the moolah for a project, but more easily for a miniseries than a single, non-franchise, average runtime film.

Also, I usually include a poster or other image from the flick, but currently I'm having a lot of fun with that Wombo Dream app, which is an art app which uses artificial intelligence to generate an image based on your prompting, so I've used that to make "movie posters" for the films. Enjoy!

Monochromatic For the People

Monochromatic For the People

An examination of cinematic reality through the lens of Noir & Chrome

by Hunter Bush

Movies used to be black and white (and silent to boot, can ya believe it!) until it stopped being cost-prohibitive to shoot them in color, at which time color films began to overtake them in frequency until b&w seemed largely like a thing of the past, foreign and/or independent films. Occasionally something like Schindler's List would come along and remind everyone about the undiluted power of b&w cinema, which essentially brings us to the subject of this article: the semi-recent semi-trend of converting films to black & white to better appreciate the language of film.

Illustration by Mary Tomcavage - Instagram @marytom_makes   

Specifically Mad Max: Fury Road: Black & Chrome directed by George Miller and Logan: Noir directed by James Mangold. Fury Road proper was released in summer 2015, with Black & Chrome getting a limited theatrical run in December the following year and was included on a later physical release. Logan was released in March of 2017 and, aside from a few specialty screenings, the Noir version was only included on the physical release. There was a feeling that perhaps this was a way to entice film lovers to continue buying physical media at time when it looked like digital would overtake physical the way color had done to b&w (I would argue that an true lover of film would intrinsically have a love and appreciation for its preservation via home libraries, but that's for another column entirely). I was curious what benefits - or detriments - the b&w viewing experience brought to these films.

Twenty Twenty in Film

Hello all. Since I started tinkering away at this blog - back in 2017 - I've endeavored to end the year with a post cataloguing all the year's films that I'd seen, in a personalized order. Obviously, this isn't a new idea by any stretch, year-end lists are a dime a dozen, but the majority of the more well-known ones represent the compiled tastes of a group of people or some kind of Metacritic-like aggregate.

My year-ender is always based entirely on a very slippery personal metric that takes the overall quality of a film and marries it to my personal views on its rewatchability. In that regard, an absolutely flawless film could easily rank below a fun trashterpiece bit of popcorn entertainment. The question of Would I Recommend This to People? is also in there as well as my affinity for novelty, appreciation for originality, and of the creative voice... it's a complex system and the goalposts will absolutely change from year to year.

And there are a number of flicks that I could put asterisks next to for one reason or another. Some are short films - one of which I worked on -, one's a mini-series, some were actually made many years ago but were not previously widely available - or still aren't - in the US, so I'm counting them now as this was the year I saw them.

What can I say?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy it and I encourage you to make your own. Drop me a link in the comments and I'll surely read it.

Pizza Film Club October 2019

Minutes from the Moviejawn Pizza Film Club meeting, October 2019
By Hunter Bush

  

Welcome once again pizza punks and movie goons, to another installment of MOVIEJAWN'S The Last Slice, where I will be relaying the minutes from the previous month's meeting of the Pizza 🍕 Film 📼 Club ♣ which - if you're not savvy - is our monthly meeting where we watch fun flicks, eat pizza and other goodies and generally socialize together as a group! We publish this newsletter to lead by example: we hope you'll see that we watched a movie or made a snack that perks your ears up and you'll want to get your own bunch of buddies together and host a Pizza 🍕 Film 📼 Club ♣  of your own!

In October, we celebrated another birthday coinciding with our meet-up, this time of P 🍕 F 📼 C ♣ co-founder, Moviejawn matron and host of the Cinematic Crypt podcast, Rosalie Kicks! She and husband Ben hosted (wait til you see the decorations) the group of us for a double feature viewing of The Devil Bat and The 'Burbs!

Twenty Nineteen in Film

Howdy. Every year (since way back in 2017) I've kept track of how many of that year's films I've watched within the year. For instance, in 2017 I watched 47 films released in 2017. Make sense? In 2018, I logged 68 which is a lot and I still managed to top it. In 2019 I saw 70 films of the year!

The list below is just all of them, ranked from my favorite to my least-favorite based entirely on my own internal, arcane criteria including things like rewatchability, originality, novelty, overall quality, creative voice and the possibility of bonus points for including things I personally enjoy. It is entirely subjective.

I encourage you to make your own list and drop me a link in the comments. I'll happily read it!

Moviejawn Pizza Film Club Minutes, August 2019 - The Court Jester (1955)

Minutes from the Moviejawn Pizza Film Club meeting August 2019
By Hunter Bush

  

Welcome cinemaniacs and pizzatarians to the 2nd installment of The Last Slice, the newsletter devoted to unpacking our Pizza Film Club meetings every month in an effort to - A) encourage you to host Pizza Film Club meetings of your own and - B) expose you to some things - films, foods, drinks - that may be new to you but could end up becoming a favorite in no time!

This month's newsletter covers our Pizza Film Club meeting from August, which just so happened to fall exactly on the birthday of Pizza Film Club co-founder, author of the previous Last Slice installment & my co-host on the Hate Watch / Great Watch podcast, Allison Yakulis (!) so it was only fair that she choose the flick. Additionally, we were hosting so she actually programmed the whole day's film lineup, made the cocktail & the snacks, all with very little help from me; a birthday dynamo!

THE FLICK: The Court Jester (1955)

The picture's plot pertains to the proper heir, perceptible by the purple pimpernel port wine patch on their posterior, and the plan to place him in the palace, presumably to protect the propriety of the province and profit the people personally.

Sorry. THE COURT JESTER is known for its tongue twister dialogue and song lyrics and I thought I'd give it a shot, but that's just exhausting. Fun, but exhausting.

The most expensive comedy ever made at the time, THE COURT JESTER stars fleet-of-foot funnyman Danny Kaye as Hawkins, a former circus performer who abandoned the big top life to be of service to The Black Fox, a Robin Hood-type bandit living in the forest with his men. In an effort to place the rightful heir, a baby, on the throne and oust the current usurper King Roderick (Cecil Parker), Hawkins takes the identity of famous jester Giacomo ("King of Jesters and Jester of Kings") and attempts to steal a key to the secret tunnel beneath the palace through which the rightful baby-heir could be smuggled safely into the castle. Due to Hawkins' own ineptness and the intervention of the witch (!) Griselda (Mildred Natwick), Hawkins finds himself in the midst of several bits of palace intrigue including the King's plan to marry his off his lovely daughter Princess Gwendolyn (Angela Lansbury) and Lord Ravenhurst's (Basil Rathbone's) attempts to kill his fellow Lords all the while attempting to take the key without alerting the King.

Wackiness ensues. As was pointed out during our viewing, with Danny Kaye in the lead role he had no one to bounce off of and thus has to use every trick in the Danny Kaye playbook here. The result is extremely enjoyable with a quick pace and the aforementioned wordplay to keep your attention even if you're not usually into this kind of flick. The performances are all incredibly charming; the kind of Saturday Matinee movie you'd watch from the living room floor, gleefully enraptured. The sets and costumes are all gorgeous even on an unrestored DVD edition. THE COURT JESTER is definitely worth a watch but may pair better with friends (and pizza).

THE COCKTAIL: The Brew That is True (Hard Arnold Palmer a.k.a. Half and Half)

Though the Black Fox's men would most likely have been downing mead or ale, those in the court may have been lucky enough to imbibe something as delicious and fragrant as The Brew That is True. Named after one The Court Jester's most quotable scenes, and one of cinema's most quotable attempted poisonings ("The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!"), Allison's Brew is designed not to be as oversweetened as concoctions like these tend to be. Seriously though, name another quotable cinematic poisoning that isn't from The Princess Bride. I'll wait.

Recipe Provided by Allison Yakulis

1 part sweet tea flavored vodka
1 part unsweetened iced tea
2 parts lemonade

Pour over ice and garnish with lemon. For the overachievers you can make your own lemonade syrup.


Lemonade Syrup

2 cups sugar
1 cup water
Rind of 2 lemons (cut into thin strips)
Juice of 6 lemons (about ¾ cup of juice)

Boil together sugar, water, and lemon rind for 5 minutes. Let cool and strain out rind. Stir in lemon juice. To prepare for drinking, add water to taste (somewhere in the neighborhood of 1 part syrup to 3 parts water)

THE MENU: Harlequin Deviled Eggs

Named for the famous dual-color diamond pattern commonly associated with clowns and jesters, these doubly delicious deviled eggs are customizable to the party's palette. Allison provided a slightly spicier take on the traditional deviled egg as well as a floral, pesto variation!

Recipe Provided by Allison Yakulis

12 eggs
About ⅓ cup pesto
About 2 tbsp mustard
About 3 tbsp mayonnaise
Hot Sauce
Paprika
Parsley

Hard boil eggs. Peel and cut in half. Remove yolks and divide evenly in 2 separate bowls. In one bowl add pesto and about 1 tbsp mayo and mix until yolks are pulverized and the mixture appears well-blended. Fill half of the eggs with this mixture and top with parsley. In the remaining bowl add about 2 tbsp mayo, 2 tbsp mustard, and a few dashes of hot sauce (to taste) and mix until yolks are pulverized and the mixture appears well-blended. Fill the remaining eggs with this mixture and top with paprika.

THE BIRTHDAY CAKE: Purple Pimpernel Funfetti Cake

Not all Pizza Film Club meetings include a cake but then again not all Pizza Film Club meetings fall on a birthday. Allison used a novelty cake pan to get the rough shape of the baby butt, then trimmed out the excess cake before icing in one color and piping on the purple pimpernel free-hand! Not too shabby!

Recipe Provided by Allison Yakulis

4 ½ tbsp unsalted softened butter
1 ½ cups sugar
½ cup Canola oil (or vegetable oil)
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
¾ cup milk
5 egg whites (room temp preferred)
½ cup sprinkles (although we used a full cup)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and grease and flour your cake pans*. In a stand mixer beat butter on medium low until creamy. Add in sugar and oil and beat until well-combined, scraping down the sides as needed. Add in vanilla. In a separate bowl combine flour, baking powder, and salt. Measure out your milk. With mixer on medium alternate between flour mix and milk (starting and ending with flour), scraping down sides when needed and allowing each addition to become fully combined before adding more. In a separate bowl beat egg whites with a hand mixer on high speed until stiff peaks form. Using a spatula, fold egg whites and sprinkles into batter until just combined (do not over mix, but make sure sprinkles are evenly distributed throughout the batter). Bake at 350F for 35-40 minutes, rotating pans halfway through bake time for even heat (depending on the size of your cake pans, the cakes may bake faster - keep an eye on them). When they’re done, you should be able to insert a toothpick and remove it mostly dry or with a few crumbs - if it comes out wet, bake for another 5-10 minutes and check again. Cool for 15 minutes before removing from the pan, and allow cakes to cool completely before frosting.

*Note: Again, to get a butt shape we used a novelty boob cake pan like this one (link - https://www.amazon.com/Pipedream-Boobie-Cake-Pan-Silver/dp/B00163B6Y4 ), cut out about an inch of the center, and pushed the two remaining lobes together before icing. It used about half of the above recipe and we made cupcakes with the rest of the batter.

In addition to the above snacks, folks brought extra goodies like chocolate covered Nutter Butter cookies, trail mix & White Claw! We also had some more homemade hummus (the recipe for which can be found in the first Last Slice newsletter), with chopped veggies and pita wedges.

Here are some photos of the group including appearances from Party Cobra and The Lady Waldo!

Remember that you can join the Pizza Film Club no matter where you are via our slack channel and that we'd love to include your satellite parties in future newsletters, so send us some pictures of you & your crew enjoying our snack, drink & film pairings!

If you really love pizza & film, check out Moviejawn's Pizzaman tab for info on our first short film! As ever, thanks for reading and may your movies & pizzas always be just the right amount of cheesy!

You can read every Pizza 🍕 Film 📼 Club ♣ newsletter on Moviejawn, join us on Slack or take our advice and host your own!

You can always hear me on every episode of the Hate Watch / Great Watch podcast. Remember: Don't be a Danzig! Like & Subscribe!

Until next time:
Long Live the Movies!

Twenty Eighteen in Film

This is simply a list of the movies, flicks, films and what-have-yous released (or widely released, or finally released) during the calendar year. I don't have any hard and fast metric for how I order this list, it's some ephemeral combination of components. Overall quality (of course), rewatchability, originality, voice and novelty all factor in, combined with my personal interests and fetishes. Point is: this is my list. Don't like it? Make your own list. (And send me the link and I'll check it out)

Last year I watched 47 movies. I thought that was a lot (and it is) but I still wanted to break that record. This year I saw 68. Sixty-eight! Next year I hope to watch 69. (Nice.)

Anyway, see below for my list:

"Boom For Real: The Late Teenage Years of Jean-Michel Basquiat (2018)"

Taken as a whole, Boom For Real is an attempt to contextualize Jean-Michel Basquiat by shining a light on his early teenage years, when he was learning to be the artist he would become. Filmmaker Sara Driver brings together the familiar documentary materials to create a portrait of Basquiat that may seem simple, but is as nuanced and meaningful as his works themselves are.

EVERYTHING OLD is NEW AGAIN 2

Everything Old is New Again

Vol. 2 - March & April 2018

By: Hunter Bush

For: MovieJawn

Hello there! Welcome to Everything Old is New Again, Vol. 2: March and April, 2018. If you're new to the column, EOiNA is where I spotlight some upcoming films that are inspired in some way by a previously existing concept, work or franchise; remakes, adaptations or long-gap sequels.

How was your January and February? Did you see that Eagles Super Bowl win? I did (Go Birds!). Did you catch any of the Winter Olympics or snag any deep discount day-after-Valentine's Day candy? More pressingly: Did you see any good movies? And hey, were any of them ones I covered in EOiNA Vol.1: Jan. and Feb. 2018? If you did, I'd love to hear what you thought. Leave a comment below why dontcha?

I saw Them Horse Boyz (I mean 12 Strong) btw, and was pleasantly surprised. Not enough Michael Shannon though.



Alright, who's ready to look ahead a bit? There’s a lot, so let’s jump right in.

"mother! (2017)"

————————————————————————————————

This review was written in September of 2017 for MOVIEJAWN.

————————————————————————————————

Darren Aronofsky's latest movie, Mother! is a messy film that manages to succeed on one level while ultimately failing on another. Which level you perceive as being more important will greatly affect how you feel about it.

Mother! (and I will be using the exclamation point with the title, yes) is a difficult film to categorize in much the same way as his earlier Black Swan (2010) was upon its release. Hindsight and repeated viewings now allow Swan to be categorized as a psychological drama (with body horror elements) but I'm curious if Mother! will come to be classified as anything besides its current generic (and misleading) horror label. Going by the trailers for the movie, you could be forgiven for thinking it's a home invasion thriller. I mean it is, but that's just the start.

Javier Bardem is a poet and Jennifer Lawrence is his muse (all characters are credited archetypally; theirs are Him and mother respectively) and they live together in an isolated and peaceful home which Lawrence has rebuilt from the literal ashes of Bardem's previous home, entirely by herself so that he can continue to write; to create. We don't get long to appreciate this quiet idyll and their easy affection for one another before a knock comes at the door. Ed Harris (credited as man) says he is new in town and was misdirected there by someone thinking the home was a bed and breakfast. The couple invite him to stay the night, during which time he and Bardem drink and he smokes (vices that Lawrence does not partake in, herself) and the next morning they are joined by Michelle Pfeiffer (woman), Harris' wife.

Harris and Pfeiffer both turn out to be fans of Bardem's work, and have taken a sort of pilgrimage to meet him under the somewhat false pretenses Harris gave the night before. They delight in prying into Bardem & Lawrence's home life, even eventually going into His second floor study and accidentally breaking a delicate gem, explained by Bardem as the only thing to survive the destruction of his previous home. They apologize profusely, like scolded children, but when Lawrence leaves Bardem painfully clutching the broken shards in his hands, she finds the pair in a carnal embrace (sex being another vice that Lawrence seems not to be partaking in).

Shortly thereafter they are all joined by man and woman's two sons (played by the real life Gleeson brothers Brian and Domhnall, but they're barely onscreen long enough for me to tell them apart) who feud over family business and before Jennifer Lawrence can catch her breath, everyone is taking one brother to the hospital while the other brother, having fled the house, is still out there somewhere. Lawrence alone is left to clean up the blood but one spot won't come up, staining the floor and almost instantly softening the wood into a wound that bleeds down into the basement, revealing a bricked over door that leads to the furnace's oil supply tank. This is where any resemblance to the usual home invasion / horror / thriller goes right out the window and you realize this movie was never going to be that.

The group return from the hospital, revealing that the badly injured son has died and of course Bardem offered to host the wake which is starting right now. Strangers come pouring into the house with nightmarish single-mindedness, ignoring Lawrences questions and requests. Pfeiffer, who had earlier chided Lawrence for not "keeping things interesting" in the bedroom, now admonishes her for the indecency of the casual clothes she is wearing. Around when a walking example of street harassment accosts Lawrence in her own home, I gave up looking for a "key metaphor" for Mother! because there just isn't one. There are many.

This film, which Aronofsky wrote in just five days, may have begun as a story about relationships (especially ones with a creative person like him; someone who gives of their time and attention to strangers at the expense of all else) but it becomes a lot more. Lawrence isn't just a symbolic muse, or a surrogate for a lost lover, in Mother! she is all women: womanhood as concept. Their house isn't just a ruined relationship rebuilt by a new partner, it becomes a metaphor for existence itself, awash in biblical imagery of man and womankind coming to a paradise, bringing their vices and offspring, inadvertently spoiling everything. The brothers fighting is Cain & Abel, the blood spot that won't come clean is Original Sin. The wake even ends in flood imagery from a broken water pipe.

It's only after all the people are gone that Lawrence can evolve, egging Bardem on to take her to bed, which leads to a nine month return to their private Eden, during which time he feels inspired to create new work and she converts the scene of The First Murder into a nursery for their forthcoming child. But his new work of course brings new people. More people; worse people. People more disrespectful and entitled than the overwhelming mass at the wake. People more fanatical.

From here the film spirals into a complete nightmare as Lawrence is shuffled from room to room each serving as microcosms for mankind's worst acts. She is, among the myriad other archetypes, Mother Earth and if you've been paying attention to the way we humans have been treating the planet and each other and women in general, you'll have an idea of the direction the third act takes. Keep the biblical parables in mind as well. I'm not giving away any great secrets here by the way. Aronofsky wants you to know what he's talking about on an emotional level even if intellectually it's all a bit muddied, but that muddiness is where my main problem lies.

Javier Bardem is the most obvious author surrogate this side of a Stephen King novel and even though the finale of the film is an attempt at explaining this mistreatment (of those who love us / all women / the world / everything), he doesn't express any real remorse. "Nothing is ever enough" he says, "I couldn't create if it was." Which is a baffling sentiment from the man who makes sure we feel every brutal second of his symbolic muse's suffering. He is simultaneously pointing out how terrible mankind is and excusing it as essentially just the cost of doing business. The finale's failure to tie up the thematic threads satisfyingly is the biggest flaw, but overall I enjoyed Mother! because while it fails intellectually, it succeeds emotionally. I left the theater acutely conscious of people who indulge me so that I can pursue my dreams and I intend to show them that I appreciate them.

Ultimately the start of the film is almost fun as a home invasion black comedy but once the symbolism hits the fan it spirals into a fever dream of heavy handed, ugly metaphors. Aronofsky created this world in just five days while apocryphally it took God six to make ours. Maybe an extra day wouldn't have been the worst idea.

EVERYTHING OLD is NEW AGAIN 1

EVERYTHING OLD is NEW AGAIN
Vol. 1: January & February of 2018
by Hunter Bush
for MOVIEJAWN

Hello, all and welcome to Everything Old is New Again, my new and improved regular column on Moviejawn dot com! As Jerry Seinfeld once wondered aloud (about Tide detergent no less) "How can something be both New AND Improved?", well I can't speak about Tide, but as far as this column goes, I can actually explain.

Everything Old is New Again is where I take a look at upcoming movies based in some way on an existing intellectual property: Remakes of older or foreign films, Adaptations of stories from other media (most commonly bestsellers, but comicbooks & videogames aren't exactly rare) and Long-Gap Sequels to older films attempting to revive their fanbase. There'll be a lot of speculation and more than a little of my personal opinions as well.

I have, technically does this type of column before on MJ, but it was twice a year (six months apart) and didn't have a fancy title. There were, fair to say, some drawbacks in this format. The first being: I had to sift through a LOT of movie descriptions and trailers (if I was lucky) all at once and then, even after all that, sometimes the movies would get pushed back. Now, I'm not so egotistical as to think that anyone would be bookmarking my li'l old articles as firm proof of a release date, but as any decent person would, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret at having passed on the wrong information. Just so you know, I'm nothing even resembling a Hollywoo Insider, I'm just a guy toiling away over a laptop in a house in South Philly full of spooky bric-a-brac and the smell of good baking, so I'll still not have any control over if the flicks make it to screens (or VOD) when I've said they're supposed to, but in an attempt to keep on top of any last-minute changes like those, Everything Old Is New Again will be gracing your screens every other month.

Thus is it both New AND Improved.

Honestly, I just hope you dig it. Enough preamble, let's dive in.

JANUARY 2018:


5th :

MOLLY'S GAME - Based on Molly Bloom's book, Aaron Sorkin directs and adapts the screenplay about Molly's time running the most exclusive high-stakes poker game in the world. Jessica Chastain & Idris Elba lead the cast as Molly & her lawyer Charlie Jaffey, respectively. This one has the vibe of a pretty standard biopic, with a star-bedazzled cast (Kevin Costner as Molly's father, Graham Greene as the judge and Michael Cera as Player X, a composite of Hollywoo bigwigs like DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Ben Affleck & others) but trying to give to appearance of greater inclusivity. Melissa Strong feels in her review that ultimately Molly's Game falls short. What do you think?

DAY OF THE DEAD: BLOODLINE - This View On Demand remake of the late, great George Romero's 1985 original Day of the Dead seems to follow roughly the same plot: A med student / scientist (Sophie Skelton) hunkered down in a military bunker in a post-zombie-apocalypse world, working on a cure for the zombie virus with a Very Special Zombie (Jonathan Schaech) chained up to experiment on. As you may expect, things don't go well. This remake, from director Hector Hernandez Vicens, isn't getting the best reviews but for a $7 rental fee (on Google Play, Vudu & the Playstation Network) it sure beats braving the chilly aftermath of that Bomb Cyclone to hit a theater, right?


12th :

PADDINGTON 2 - Based on the long-running book series written by Michael Bond and illustrated by Peggy Fortnum starring the very polite anthropomorphic bear, Paddington. In this sequel to the 2014 Paddington, Pads wants to buy a pop-up book of London for his aunt who is also a bear who has always wanted to come to London but can't, so he takes odd jobs. Then the book gets stolen by Hugh Grant who's doing a very Count Olaf-y character (a la Lemony Snicket). Pads gives chase, but gets the slip and the cops think he stole the book so the bear goes to jail. I don't know if this mirrors any plots from any of the books, but with 150+ books since 1958, chances are... maybe? Either way, the tone works for me and with the added zany vibe of Grant's costume-swapping character, I'm sold.


19th :

MARY AND THE WITCH'S FLOWER - Based on the novel The Little Broomstick by Mary Stewart, this traditionally animated film from Studio Ghibli regular (and Secret World of Arrietty director) Hiromasa Yonebayashi follows the seemingly average Mary (Ruby Barnhill) a young girl who one afternoon finds the titular flowers that give you special, magical powers for one day. She attends what appear to be witch classes, meets Flanagan the talking fox (Ewan Bremner) and becomes integral to an older witch's plot to find the rare flowers. This seems like a pretty standard fairy tale story, but as with anything with that Ghibli pedigree, I am there for it. It also has a solid voice cast (which also features Kate Winslet and Jim Broadbent) and some really cool visuals and character designs!

12 STRONG (THE DECLASSIFIED TRUE STORY OF THE HORSE SOLDIERS) - I've seen this trailer a bunch in theaters the past 2 months or so and every time, I'm struck by the thought "This should really just be called Horse Soldiers, that's a better title!". Based on the book (correctly titled Horse Soldiers) by Doug Stanton, this flick has a phenomenal cast, featuring two of my favorite Michaels (Shannon and Pena), William Fichtner, Rob Riggle and Chris Hemsworth (among others) playing the first Special Forces team deployed to Afghanistan after the 9/11 attacks. I'm usually skeptical of military films and all, but, like, Michael Shannon so... y'know. Yes, gimme them Horse Boys!


26th :

MAZE RUNNER: THE DEATH CURE - I know next to nothing about these Maze Runner movies, but from the trailer, there appear to be no mazes in this one and honestly not that much running. Based on the book series by James Dashner, the plot appears to be the Maze Runner & his friends (or maybe they're all Maze Runners?), having escaped from an oppressive society run by a company called WCKD, now have to break back in for some reason I didn't really catch. There's dialogue about a cure to a plague that the Maze Runner(/s) are immune to, but I can't imagine WCKD have a cure, as it's implied that Thomas Brodie-Sangster's character Newt will have to decide whether to sacrifice himself to make one, so... why? On the plus side: Walton Goggins, Patricia Clarkson, Giancarlo Esposito & Ki Hong Lee are among the cast. If I'm being honest, while I never like to say something "isn't for me" until I give it a fair shake, The Death Cure just looks soooo much like all these other young adult dystopia movies / book adaptations that it just makes me want to nap. Maybe one day I'll catch them on TV on a Sunday afternoon or something and regret skipping them, but then again maybe not.



FEBRUARY 2018:


9th :

MONSTER FAMILY - Based on the book Happy Family by David Safier, this animated film is the story of a regular-degular human family who mistakenly get an invitation to an all-monsters costume party (where the monsters dress up as humans, you dig?) where they get outed as monster impostors (better title) and cursed by a witch to become the costumes they're wearing. So Mom is a vampire, Sister is a mummy, Brother is a werewolf and Dad is a (farting. Ugh.) Frankenstein's monster and they can't turn back until they're a "happy" family. UGH. This one looks bad, gang. The writing seems immature and lazy: if the Franken-fart wasn't bad enough, there's a bit in the trailer where the Sister mishears another Mummy's name (Imhotep) as "Johnny Depp". UGH. Worst of all, the voice talent is pretty great, with Emily Watson, Jason Isaacs, Nick Frost and Catherine Tate all lending their pipes to ....whatever this is.

PETER RABBIT - If you're the kind of person who thinks things like "Y'know, those timeless children's books by Beatrix Potter sure could use a modern reboot", this may be the movie for you. Also you're a monster and I don't want to know you. For real, there's a scene where Peter Rabbit (voiced by Carpool Karaoke guru James Corden) makes it rain cabbage leaves like he's in a strip club! Get right the fuck out of town with that bizness! Now, I'm not saying this will be awful, but it sure is being presented to the audience that way. Casting Domhnall Gleeson and Sam Neill as your Farmers McGregor is a good choice though and the voice talent isn't lacking: Daisy Ridley, Margot Robbie and even Sia, among many others, all voice various critters

THE 15:17 TO PARIS - Based on the book by Anthony Sadler, Alek Skarlatos and Spencer Stone (with Jeffrey E. Stern) this biopic tells the story of the three men foiling a terrorist incident on the titular train in 2015. Clint Eastwood directs Sadler, Skarlatos and Stone as themselves with character actors like Jenna Fischer, Judy Greer, Jaleel White, Thomas Lennon and Tony Hale playing various parents, teachers and etc. in the more historical autobiographical sections. This one is a bit of mixed bag for me. I like a lot of the people involved but I get some real questionable vibes from this (a Gung-Ho Patriotism vibe and an Award Thirtsy vibe specifically) that kind of leave me cold.

50 SHADES FREED - In this the final (?) film based on the final (?) book in E.L. James' 50 Shades series, Ana (Dakota Johnson) & Christian (Jamie Dornan) are living the married life. They have a gorgeous house (yet are going to have a gorgeous-er one built?) and still enjoy their oh-so kinky lifestyle until... something something kidnapping? Apparently Ana's old boss has some vendetta against her and Christian, both, so he kidnaps Ana's sister. Meanwhile Ana suspects Christian of infidelity possibly due to the reappearance in his life of Elena (Kim Basinger), the woman who first introduced him to BDSM. Cards on the table, y'all. I have never read (and have no plans to read) the 50 Shades books, nor have I seen any of the movies, so when this trailer played in a darkened theater, I honestly didn't know what movie it was I was laughing at. Afterwards when the titled rolled, the realization of what I'd been watching only made it funnier / more outlandish / better. I would consider actually seeing this one, if only because it looks batshit stupid crazy.


16th :

BLACK PANTHER - I am so excited for this movie, fam! Besides adding some much-needed diversity to the Superhero Franchise Blockbuster genre, after Chadwick Boseman's scene-stealing appearance in Captain America: Civil War, I'm so excited for him give BP his own film! Directed by Ryan Coogler, the story looks like it expands on newly King T'Challa (Boseman)'s place in the larger Marvel universe, debuting his home, the hidden land of Wakanda, and a boatload of amazingly-costumed supporting characters (the cast includes Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong'o, Daniel Kaluuya, Angela Bassett and Forest Whitaker as well as returning MCU alums Martin Freeman and Andy Serkis). Plot details are scarce, but it seems like a group of T'challa's enemies rise up and attempt to dethrone him possibly? My big takeaway from the trailers is how incredibly sick all the costuming is! Like the Amazons' armor in last year's Wonder Woman, this was a visual itch I didn't realize needed to be scratched until I saw this trailer. Design-wise, comics are an incredibly diverse medium but after a while, it's easy not to notice how similar everything looks. Obviously, that applies to the casts as well, so, on both fronts,  I'm incredibly excited to see Black Panther to shake things up!


23rd :

EVERY DAY - This one looks pretty weird, y'all and I'm ...kinda intrigued. Based on the novel by David Levithan, this is a movie about Rhiannon, a teenage girl whose been having relationship troubles with her boyfriend Justin until one day when they go to the beach and have a heart-to-heart, really opening up to each other. Only that wasn't Justin, it was some kind of wandering spirit called A that can inhabit people's bodies; a new one (wait for it) ... every day. Now A has fallen in love with Rhiannon and has to not only convince her of the truth but also find a way to stay with her. Now, I get the impression that this is gonna lean a little too far into Christian fiction for me (and way too far away from a horror movie, obvs) but I think this one could be a real fun stay-at-home and yell-at-your-TV movie night.

ANNIHILATION - I'm not the only Jawnie who's excited about this one! Based on Jeff VanderMeer's novel (the first of his Southern Reach trilogy), this film directed by Alex Garland (who also adapted the screenplay) follows Natalie Portman who plays The Biologist (no proper nouns appear in the novel) who is part of the 12th expedition into an area (known as Area X in the novel / apparently called The Shimmer in the film) where the laws of nature don't seem to function as we normally experience them. The Biologist's Husband (Oscar Isaac) was a member of the previous expedition and returned seriously ill. The Biologist and other characters played by Tessa Thompson, Jennifer Jason Leigh & Gina Rodriguez comprise a 12th expedition who explore The Shimmer to find what it is and what is happening within it. This is a killer cast, working with a smart, genre savvy director who isn't afraid to make challenging work, telling a story full of creativity, mood and invention; I will be in theaters for Annihilation!



These are by no means the only Everything Old is New Again -applicable movies coming in the next couple of months, but they're the more widely-available ones and the ones I found most attention-grabbing. What do you think? Any of these you'll be seeking out? Any you'll be skipping?