"ESCAPE FROM AREA 51" (2021)

ESCAPE FROM AREA 51 (2021)

Directed by Eric Mittleman

Written by Ted Chalmers, Mittleman, Carlos Perez

Starring Donna D’Errico, Chris Browning, Anouk Samuel, Chloe Amen

Running time 76 minutes

Currently unrated but contains bodies exploding and juvenile horniness

By Hunter Bush

In many ways I am much like Sesame Street mainstay Oscar the Grouch: I’m grumpy, I think educating children is important, I might be a Time Lord, and most germane to this article: I Love Trash. So when the opportunity comes across my desk (kitchen table) to review Escape from Area 51, a film starring former Baywatch babe Donna D’Errico and seemingly inspired by the Let’s Storm Area 51 movement, I’m into it. Sounds awful.

And it is, but in a harmless way. Are you familiar with the Kids Write Jokes twitter account? This is like that: yes the jokes are terrible; they barely make sense, they lack universal appeal or POV, they’re clumsily phrased, BUT they’re not hurting anybody and once in a while you get a chuckle out of one, so occasionally you toss a ❤ their way.

Escape from Area 51 is like that. It lacks focus, most of the characters are vague-yet-awful, the direction is sloppy, the locations are confusing and the plot is generic at best BUT it’s not doing anyone any harm by existing, I’m guessing it was fun to make and there are a few shining moments that give it some small watchability. Honestly my biggest issue with it is that it gives the impression that director/co-writer Eric Mittleman was trying to make a bad movie and that always rankles me. There’s a fine line in making art, it’s labelled “not giving a shit” and on one side is that kind of scrappy punk rock ethos where you’re just chasing your bliss and hoping it finds an audience. The other side of that line is shit like Velocipastor where if you like it, great, fine whatever, but if you don’t then you just don’t get that they were making it bad “on purpose”. Escape comes dangerously close to that kind of vibe.

Shot, acted and largely written like a basic cable late night softcore picture, but without any sex to excise and thus no chemistry, Escape from Area 51 starts off as a faux-documentary about that brief, stupid moment in the discourse when some Extremely Online types hyped themselves into a froth over the belief that if enough of them did the Naruto run (or whatever) at a heavily monitored and guarded military base, they would be able to ...effect change? Steal a UFO? Matter? Something. This all came to naught, which some text on screen mentions, as only a few hundred people showed up and they were more concerned with putting on a bobo Burning Man than, y’know, getting executed in the sand trying to commit a felony against heavily armed guards. Some would probably say that’s the smarter option; I think it’s just a different flavor of dumb.

The first 5 minutes of Escape from Area 51 are a very strange guided tour style narration from an alien voice potentially explaining why all the aliens will be appearing as humans throughout the runtime (when not being clipart dancing alien gifs that I’m only 80% sure were supposed to represent real aliens) before transitioning to the documentary stuff. This briefly follows a handful of Area 51 stormers in footage that I think was actually real. Whether Mittleman was filming it in hopes of capturing some watershed moment for the human race or maybe he just bought the footage from a friend, it doesn’t matter because - we are told - “they all died, so we need some other subjects to follow”. That’s when we meet Ernest (Caleb Thomas) a vlogger (*) travelling with his friends Jason (Zeke Jones) and Molly (Chloe Amen) to the proposed Area 51 insurrection. He records a brief vlog promising to tell Molly how he feels. This would have you believe he is, if not the main character then at least the main human of the group. This will prove not to be true. In a stunning final moment reveal (that's sarcasm but I think I should have hit it harder), Molly ends up being adopted by the aliens in a move that I think is supposed to be empowering/feminist but comes from nowhere, makes no sense, and is entirely devoid of meaning.

(*) A brief note on the faux documentary angle. Once Ernest is introduced recording vlog number 1, you would think that would be a through-line but it’s not. He only records 3 in total and the gap between him recording the 1st and the 2nd is so great, and so much happens that he completely does not explain to his “viewers”. He’s just all the sudden talking about “Sheera” and “the aliens” and whatever the hell else but makes a point to mention that he still hasn’t confessed his feelings to Molly. Dude: nobody cares. Not your fictional viewers IN the movie, not the viewers OF the movie, and clearly not the three (THREE!) credited writers.

Ernest however is somehow responsible for a power outage which allows captive alien Sheera (Donna D’Errico) to titularly escape from Area 51, which somehow also puts her on the radar of her nemesis Sklarr (Chris Browning). D’Errico and Browning are the high points of the picture for me. D’Errico has an effortless quality to her on screen which projects the feeling that she was having a blast making this; being silly and sexy in the woods with friends. Browning also is really Doing Something with his performance as Sklarr. It’s quirky and honestly fun to watch even if some moments tread kind of close to Beldar the Conehead territory.

There isn’t much plot to speak of. Low budget horror movie fans will be familiar with the pitfalls Escape lumbers into: a meandering story that goes in circles with the occasional injection of deadmeat characters to increase stakes and give characters something to do. Despite the aliens having a bunch of weapons and abilities that can kind of do anything (teleportation bubble, torture ray, melting field, explosion beam, etc.) they all sort of just bop around the same cabin for a while and not a whole lot happens. The vast majority of the onscreen effects are some cheap, cheap, cheap looking gifs too, with the exception of the first guys Sheera encounters after teleporting out of Area 51: a couple of anachronistically hillbilly-esque potential rapists. The one, in the picture’s only really impressive effect, ends up a melted skeleton that looks like the Tarman zombie from Return of the Living Dead, except coated in viscera rather than tar.

The script at least pays lip service to giving the characters arcs with Ernest making a heel turn and all the sudden deciding not to believe Sheera without hearing Sklarr’s side of things, only to immediately make an about-face in the following scene and apologize for not believing her. I should probably mention to you since it’s so incredibly nuanced and subtle, AND fits into this story without a single rough edge (that’s sarcasm, did I hit it hard enough?) that Ernest’s arc (as it were) parallels the Believe Women movement and related current cultural evolutions. The only thing that saves this clunky social commentary moment is how little impact either thing makes. It’s set up and then resolved so fast that it barely makes a ripple.

About 20 minutes into Escape from Area 51, Molly asks “Is it too early to start drinking?” and I looked at my watch (phone) and it was 11:23 am and I said aloud “Good question, Molly.” Escape from Area 51 is amateurish, occasionally baffling and just doesn’t have much (aside from a legitimately very cool poster) to attract an audience, but despite that it ends up just on the positive side of that “not giving a shit” line I mentioned above. I honestly feel like its heart is in the right place and that those involved genuinely tried to make something enjoyable.

Escape from Area 51 is currently available on VOD platforms and comes to DVD & Blu-ray on September 7th

You can follow me on twitter, instagram or letterboxd.

Fantasia Fest 2021 - THE UNKNOWN MAN OF SHANDIGOR (1967)

The Unknown Man of Shandigor (1967)

Directed by Jean-Louis Roy

Written by Roy, Gabriel Arout, and Pierre Koralnik

Starring Daniel Emilfork, Marie-France Boyer, Jacques Dufilho, Howard Vernon, Serge Gainsbourg

Running time 1 hour, 30 minutes

Currently unrated but contains Avant-garde imagery and language, ennui, and instances of spycraft-related death

The Unknown Man of Shandigor is without a doubt the best and most excellent Avant-garde take on the spy genre that I’ve ever seen. Yes, that’s a very specific group of qualifiers, but I’m serious. Gorgeously shot in black & white, with shots composed like an art film (or like one of those especially grandiose perfume commercials popular in the late ‘80s or early ‘90s), director and co-writer Jean-Louis Roy has made an espionage film that’s as visually arresting as it is narratively nebulous. That’s not a criticism either, because it’s not trying to tell a tightly-scripted and intricate spy thriller, instead using that framework to riff on the genre’s conventions from a satirical POV.

It all starts with a gentle inversion of the usual spy movie tropes: instead of an eccentric megalomaniac with some MacGuffin that puts the entire globe in danger, Daniel Emilfork plays Von Krantz an eccentric regular-maniac who has developed the Canceler, a device which could end atomic warfare worldwide. He’s still a scenery-chewing lunatic with an albino assistant (Marcel Imhoff), a beautiful daughter who never leaves their estate (Marie-France Boyer), and even a “Beast” that lives in their swimming pool! In other words a pretty typical entourage in these types of stories.

Von Krantz himself even ostensibly resembles the ranting mad scientist character. He’s prone to dramatic monologues that would make Ernst Blofeld or Hank Scorpio envious, with lines like “Fear can be shaped” and when asked by a reporter in the film’s cold open whom he admires most, he responds “Dracula”. More often than not though, his monologues are about existential dread and general ennui; loneliness and isolation. Sure, he puts a man to death using radioactive gas that liquifies the intruder but that dude (co-writer Gabriel Arout) shouldn’t have been lurking about!

The agent played by Arout is one representative of the many international espionage agencies interested in the Canceler. They’re the French contingent: five equally bald men in black turtlenecks who are trained (by Spymaster Serge Gainsbourg!) to be masters of disguise. Gainsbourg also performs a farewell song as Arout’s spy’s remains are disposed of called “Bye Bye Mister Spy”, which I guess is the The Unknown Man of Shandigor’s version of Bond song. Not gonna lie; it’s unsurprisingly pretty good.

In addition to the French agents there’s a corps of Russian spies (directed by Jacques Dufilho), American agent Bobby Gun (Howard Vernon) who’s an inversion of the womanizing James Bond archetype: he goes into expansive detail about being in love with a woman named Esther (Jacqueline Danno) and, a late addition to the film the Black Sun-Orient organization. Their agent, The Man with the Platinum Ring (Pierre Chan) arrives out of a misty ocean in a frogman suit and gets into a technologically advanced Jaguar to go snoop on Von Krantz’s assistant Yvan (Imhoff).

One strange thing about The Unknown Man of Shandigor is that so much of it feels like it’s referencing The Prisoner (the equally avant-garde British miniseries about an intelligence agent) but I’m skeptical to make that connection since they both debuted in 1967. Perhaps they were both referencing some other bit of culture that I’m unaware of, or maybe there was just something in the air at that time? Firstly there’s a certain aloofness to the logic of some of the gadgetry. In horror there’s the phrase “non-Euclidean geometry”, which specifically refers to the concept of places whose existence does not make physical sense or obey the normal rules. Whatever the equivalent of “non-Euclidean logic” would be, I think it would apply to smoke that opens electronic doors, or a light beam that allows you to eavesdrop on a conversation.

Then there’s daughter Sylvaine’s (Boyer’s) story. After spotting some spies lurking on the edge of the property in a very non covert manner, she uses their presence as distraction enough to escape the grounds, only to be picked up by the French contingent. She is interrogated, gassed and wakes up back at Shandigor which, it turns out, is a location. Who knew! But it seems like some kind of tropic, semi-isolated resort island; it’s beautiful. There she finds Manuel (Ben Carruthers), a man with whom she’d had a brief fling years ago that she’s never gotten over, and he seems to be the only other person. How convenient. Perhaps too convenient?

These touches of surreality (How did she get to Shandigor? And where exactly is it?), combined with details like the fact that the smoke that opens doors is just a fire extinguisher, or that Von Krantz’s “Beast” is just dry ice discs causing the surface to bubble, add to the casually chaotic atmosphere. That DIY, makeshift attitude acts as a further twist on the usual approach to this genre, which is usually very polished and measured. But beyond even that, I just genuinely loved that creativity and the offhandedness of it all.

There are some aspects of the story - of the ways in which various characters relate to each other and what their respective goals are - that don’t quite make sense to me, but y’know what? The same goes for Quantum of Solace from 2008; a film which A) is in a language I speak and B) I have seen more than just once. At least in the case of The Unknown Man of Shandigor, I think it was intentional.

The Unknown Man of Shandigoor has stuck with me since I watched it, kicking around in my head, growing in my esteem and in lieu of keeping it a secret, I am actively spilling the beans. If you like spies, or art films, or Serge Gainsbourg: seek this film out! Find that Man!

The Unknown Man of Shandigor screened as part of Fantasia Fest 2021. The restoration was handled by Cinematheque Suisse.

"WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING" (2021)

WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING creates horror and mystery in a tight space

WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING

Directed by Sean King O’Grady

Written by Max Booth III

Starring Sierra McCormick, Pat Healy, Vinessa Shaw, John James Cronin, and Lisette Alexis

Running time 1 hour, 37 minutes

Currently unrated but contains adult language, graphic violence and ritual self harm

By Hunter Bush, Staff Writer

We Need to Do Something is a tight little locked-room thriller that gets stranger the longer you watch, like a magic eye picture painted by a mad monk. With a strong undercurrent of Family in Crisis drama, some gnarly effects and images, and a lot of very dark humor that doesn’t quite land every time, in its best moments WNtDS achieves the tone of something like a Creepshow or Tales from the Darkside segment.

There’s a huge storm coming and even in the first few minutes, as we watch a family gather in their large (not like, crazy-big but all four of them fit comfortably without touching) bathroom you know that someone is hiding something. Maybe several someones. Thermos-clutching Dad (Pat Healy) seems edgy, but Healy kind of always seems edgy, it’s kind of my dude’s whole thing. Mom (Vinessa Shaw) seems maybe a little too focused on making sure everyone keeps things light and doesn’t worry. Older sister Melissa (Sierra McCormick) snipes with younger brother Bobby (John James Cronin), while frantically texting someone and trying to get a word in edgewise about how the storm seems… not normal.

As we’ll learn, everybody has a lot going on beneath the surface. Except Bobby, who’s all Id - when he’s hungry, or has to pee, or Melissa makes a face at him, everybody’s gotta hear about it. Turns out Dad has a bit of a drinking problem (that Thermos wasn’t just coffee) and a bit of a temper, and Mom’s been pursuing extramarital interests, but the cherry atop this sundae of secrets is Melissa who thinks something she and her ggf (goth girlfriend) Amy (Lisette Alexis) did might be responsible for what’s happening. Once they realize a downed tree has them trapped in the bathroom, these tensions begin their slow boil.

From those first few minutes, writer Max Booth III is playing with our perceptions, and as the story unfolds, he starts to expand into playing with reality. Melissa and Amy’s actions before the start of the film (which involve magic) are having a greater impact than they’d anticipated and that’s where We Need to Do Something loses a step in a few different respects, one that it never really regains.

Firstly, there’s a central tenet of magical belief that says anything you put out will come back at you threefold which, if you’re aware of it, kind of helps explain what’s going on, when combined with the stuff that actually does get explained. But the way things are set up throughout the movie, it seems more like things are building to a confrontation with an entity of some kind which (slight spoilers) is not the case. If the magic stuff were a little better laid out, I think things would feel more satisfying.

On top of that, the addition of magic to things actually takes away from the increasing weirdness between the family because it begins to seem like maybe nothing in the bathroom is real, and that makes it seem consequenceless. None of this is aided by the budgetary constraints which mean we have multiple instances of characters looking offscreen and describing things that we don’t see. In the language of film, that sort of thing usually means that what the characters are describing may not be real and that, combined with the addition of magic, actually serves to remove weight from events that come later since you assume nothing is really real.

Possibly as a result of these implications, director Sean King O’Grady keeps the camera firmly rooted and grounded. No dutch angles, no fancy pans or zooms or anything that would make things seem less realistic. It makes sense but is much less fun to look at and gives the whole thing a television feel, hence my Tales from the Darkside name drop up at the top. Even some of the humor feels of that ilk, like four days into their confinement, watching Pat Healy chew makeup remover pads for their alcohol content.

What really sets WNtDS apart is the horror. From being locked in a confined place, to starvation and dehydration, to whatever it is that’s outside, the script here checks a lot of boxes, albeit some better than others. There is, however, one truly fantastic scare in here. It’s the kind of thing where you know from the first instant that it’s not going to be good, but you have no idea what’s coming and boy does it send chills up your spine when it happens! The effects that there are should also be praised; there’s some gnarly moments at play here that hint at what kind of movie we could have gotten with a slightly more robust budget behind it.

The movie attempts to raise stakes by occasionally mentioning that the family is getting hungrier and hungrier, but it never has the weight it needs to make their decisions land with me. The cast is solid, and as their performances become more manic and heightened, We Need to Do Something creates some really fun places, but the tone wavers and the movie seems unable to commit to those moments. I think this would work really well in a group watch setting where everyone could have a lot of fun with it, but even for a solo first time viewing experience, this was a fun watch.

We Need to Do Something comes to theaters, digital and VOD on September 3rd.

You can follow me on twitter, instagram or letterboxd.

Fantasia Fest 2021 - YAKUZA PRINCESS (2021)

Fantasia Fest 2021

Yakuza Princess

Directed by Vicente Amorim

Written by Amorim, Kimi Lee, Tubaldini Shelling, Fernando Toste

Based on the graphic novel by Danilo Beyruth

Starring MASUMI, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Tsuyoshi Ihara

Running time 1 hour, 51 minutes

MPAA Rated R for strong bloody violence, some language and graphic nudity

By Hunter Bush

“The past catches up with us.

Sometimes a past we forgot, sometimes a past that doesn’t belong to us.”

This is my second year covering Fantasia Fest for MovieJawn. Obviously last year was an outlier, having to be completely digital due to the state of the world, and even though I knew that, I was not prepared for the scope of this year’s fest. With a 20 day schedule chock full of screenings, both in-person and digital, and many films only being available for a limited window, it’s easy for things to get lost in the shuffle. I’m very glad that Vicente Amorim’s Yakuza Princess wasn’t one of them. Based on a graphic novel - that I’m honestly having some trouble finding information on but which seems to originally be either in Spanish or more likely Portuguese - called Samurai Shirô, Yakuza Princess is a kind of origin story that I’d be very interested in following along with as the story continues.

Akemi (MASUMI) lives in a Japanese diaspora in São Paulo, Brazil and is about to turn 21 when a whole lot of her past comes crashing into her life unbidden, along with a battle-scarred man (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and a sword that’s the lynchpin to the whole thing. The story isn’t going to blow your hair back if you’re a fan of yakuza-adjacent flicks, but for those who maybe don’t know: the yakuza are the organized crime families of Japan, so if it helps, you can think of this as a mafia movie but with more focus on honor and more decapitations than cement shoes. Turns out that unbeknownst to her, Akemi is the heir to a powerful family thought wiped out 20 years previously, so she’ll have to figure out who she can trust if she wants to survive.

The direction here is largely very good, with a focus on strong images and saturated neon colored locations that all look amazing, but the fight scenes are a bit choppy for my taste. This is an issue I’ve had with a few recent fight-choreography-heavy action movies, and is entirely a personal taste issue, but I prefer being able to see an entire sequence of moves play out clearly, rather than cutting every few seconds to a cool image/angle/POV that’s then gone before it really has time to leave an impact. Beyond that another small quibble I have is the presence and overabundance of CGI blood spray and CGI bullet impacts. They just never look good to me, what can I say?

MASUMI is very good here with room to grow as both a character and a performer if the film should be sequelized and her interactions with the amnesiac soldier played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers are interesting, especially as Akemi begins to feel her power more as the film rolls along. There's also a fascinating dynamic between the two of them and Takeshi (Tsuyoshi Ihara), a man neither of them trust (with good reason) who is nonetheless motivated by honor into playing his part in events.

As Akemi is forced further and further from what she thought her life was going to be, and she uncovers more of the history that was hidden from her, she begins to learn that your past doesn’t define you. Yakuza Princess ends with the set-up that there could be further adventures and as I said at the top, I’m fully onboard for more. I genuinely like the characters, I just hope that in a cinematic landscape full of talent, any future installments learn to let the choreo shine through a bit more.

Yakuza Princess is screening digitally on August 18th and 20th as part of Fantasia Fest 2021, and receives a wider released from Magnet Releasing on September 3rd.

You can follow me on twitter, instagram or letterboxd.

EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN, Vol. 31 - Sept. 2021

Everything Old Is New Again

Vol. 31 - September 2021

By Hunter Bush

Whoo buddy, what a month August has been. I dunno about you, dear reader, but there’s been ...a lot going on. Some of it was actually good but honestly not too much. But that’s alright because we will persevere. We will all push on and not allow ourselves to become bogged down with this negativity; to get stuck in the swamp of sadness.

Welcome to EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN, my monthly column discussing the remakes, adaptations and long-gap sequels coming to screens great and small in the month ahead. I watch the trailers, try to suss out what exactly is going on and give you my impression of the project as well as any history I know about the source material. I’ll let you know whether I’m excited for it as well, but by no means should you let that stop you from checking something out.

As a bonus, there’s also a SPOTLIGHT section where I’ll be drawing your attention to an EOINA-friendly (a remake, an adaptation, or a long-gap sequel) movie or two that may not exactly be new, but are still worth giving a look.

Let us get started, shall we?

<>

PREMIERS

All the brand new remakes, adaptations & long-gap sequels coming to screens for the first time.

2nd

What We Do in the Shadows (series, season 3)

Where: FX, streaming on HULU next day

I didn’t know what to expect when I first heard they were adapting/expanding on What We Do in the Shadows (the genius 2014 vampire mockumentary from Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi) but the FX show has continued to not just do the film justice but actually expand on it in fascinating and hilarious ways. Where we left things at the end of season 2, Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) had finally not only come to terms with being a natural vampire hunter but had been outed as one to his chosen family of clueless vampires by slaughtering the Vampiric Council. Guillermo’s vampire family (played by Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Mark Proksch, and Kayvan Novak respectively) are now the default heads of the Council and will have to learn the ropes (from Kristen Schaal!) and figure out which one of them will become the official head vampire! This show has only continued to get funnier as it rolls along, so if you haven’t watched it, get caught up!

3rd

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (dir. Destin Daniel Cretton)

Where: in theaters, coming to Disney+ after a 45 day exclusivity window

Shang-Chi as a character, began as a cash in on the kung fu/Bruce Lee craze that America was going through in the 1970s. Marvel Comics originally wanted to adapt the Kung Fu TV series but were denied the rights! In a further baffling rights boondoggle that exemplifies how much the comics industry of the era was just the wild west, Shange-Chi was introduced as a heretofore unknown son of the villainous (and heinously racist caricature) Dr. Fu Manchu! Anyway, over the years, various Marvel creative types have taken the reins of the Shang-Chi franchise and tried to reshape him to fit better with the direction the industry was headed: super people! Though (to the best of my knowledge) Shang-Chi has never been classified as a super-person himself, his mastery of chi allows him to perform otherwise impossible feats of strength, speed and agility and even defeat superhumans in combat. This adaptation stars the incredibly charming Simu Liu as Shang-Chi, here seemingly the son of The Mandarin (another comics character, reshaped in the MCU as an international warlord/terrorist) who was previously represented via Ben Kingsley’s masquerading as him in Iron Man 3 (it’s complicated, the hallmark of any discussion of comics). In comics, the Mandarin has ten rings that came from space and are thus powerful nearly-magical artifacts. But to be clear, they’re rings - the jewelry. In Shang-Chi they’re larger, stacking up on Mandarin’s forearms, but they’re still dangerously powerful! This has a lot of potential to be fun and expand the MCU in interesting and important ways while also giving the superhero genre a much needed representation boost. I know some of us are quite exhausted with the Marvel Movie Machine (the sameness of the fight scenes; the perfunctory feeling of many character interactions) but now, when there are finally some Asian actors getting a moment in the spotlight is not the time to take a break. And while fitting someone whose only “power” is being really, really good at fighting into the same universe as these other super weirdos will be a tall order, I’ll be checking this out and hoping for the best!

13th

Y: the Last Man (series)

Where: FX, streaming on HULU

Based on the graphic novel series written by Brian K Vaughan and illustrated by Pia Guerra, Y: the Last Man is the story of Yorick (Ben Schnetzer), the only living boy in New York. Actually, the world. As far as anyone knows. One day, out of the blue, every living creature with a Y chromosome dropped dead pretty much simultaneously and, as you’d expect, the world collapsed into near dystopian chaos as the survivors had to begin to clean up the mess. What happened? How is Yorick still around? Is the human race doomed? The comics took their darn sweet time even hinting at answers to these questions. I wonder if the show will keep that slow build pacing? Well, there are a lot of really great supporting characters to hold everyone’s interest at least: Yorick’s mom (Diane Lane) sends Agent 355 (Ashley Romans) to protect Yorick (and his pet capuchin monkey Ampersand!) and along the way they meet up with/run afoul of many cool factions (including ninjas and pirates!) (yes, really!) Seriously. The comic is a favorite of mine and I really hope the show does it justice.

23rd

Creepshow (series, season 3)

Where: Shudder

Unfortunately, there is no trailer for Creepshow season 3, the Shudder original anthology series based on the 1982 George Romero directed, Stephen King written horror comedy masterpiece. But I’m already onboard. Creepshow has yet to really let me down. Is every segment, every story exactly my jam? No, but they’re all interesting, fun, creative, splattery and stuffed with talent both in front of the camera and behind the scenes. This season (allegedly) features appearances from Ethan Embry, James Remar, Jonathan Schaech, and Michael Rooker among others, with segments directed by Joe Lynch, Rusty Cundeiff, and John Harrison, and a story from Joe Hill! Like I said, I’ll be checking this out.

SPOTLIGHT

Some EOINA-appropriate flicks that deserve a second look.

1st

Romeo + Juliet (1996) (dir. Baz Luhrmann)

Where: Amazon Prime

This movie won’t be everybody’s jam, but it very much is mine. An extremely ‘90s retelling of William Shakespeare’s reading comprehension mainstay, but performed with the original verbiage? Yes. Baz Luhrmann’s visual flair works within this extremely heightened reality and, for those not ancient enough to know this already - the soundtrack is wall-to-wall bangers. The cast, besides Leo DiCaprio and Claire Danes as the titular couple, features John Leguizamo, Harold Perrineau, Pete Postlethwaite, Paul Rudd, Paul Sorvino, Brian Dennehy, Vondie Curtis-Hall, and M. Emmett Walsh, among plenty of others! If none of this sounds like your thing exactly BUT you’re interested in 1990s culture, this is definitely worth a look.

The A-Team (2010) (dir. Joe Carnahan)

Where: Amazon Prime

Based on the TV series (1983 - ‘87) starring George Peppard, Mr. T, Dirk Benedict, and Dwight Schultz as four blacklisted ex-military specialists who used their talents (and customized vehicles) to help people who needed their help/could afford them, this feature-length remake somehow never spawned a sequel despite being perfect for it. Director Joe Carnahan, as well as Liam Neeson, Rampage Jackson, Bradley Cooper, and Sharlto Copley transformed the TV series into a full-on Fast & Furious-level, big dumb action movie (they steer a tank falling through the air by firing the cannon!) that’s a ton of fun! Not a life-changing viewing experience, but if you’re looking for a way to spend an evening, you could do a lot worse.

<>

There we have it. I’m really hoping that everyone’s Septembers - and not to be selfish but ours as well - are better than the Augusts we’re leaving being us. I really appreciate everybody who’s been helping out this past month (y’all know who you are) and that includes you, reading this, right now. Let me know if any of these flicks/series are on your radar and what you think after you check them out.

If you’d like more from me, you can read MovieJawn’s coverage of Fantasia Fest 2021, with articles from myself and Allison Yakulis, and you can catch both of us on the Hate Watch/Great Watch podcast every other Wednesday! Our latest episode is on Saturday Night Fever, and later in September we’ve got eps on 1988’s Felix the Cat: The Movie and 1991’s The Addams Family!

I’ll be back next month with more EOINA and in the interim, I’m sure I’ll be covering at least a few other movies, so keep an eye on MovieJawn.com for those. While you’re at it, subscribe to the MovieJawn Patreon (lot of fun stuff there already and more to come!) and as always:

Long Live the Movies!