Prologue :
Get To Know Your Author with this handy-dandy List of Facts!
1 : I love lists.
2 : I have bad teeth. It's genetic. Thanks, Mom and Dad!
3 : I am a big fan of Stephen King and in particular his Dark Tower book series.
4 : Apophenia is the word for when human beings find hidden meaning in otherwise random stimuli.
5 : I think of myself as a "human headache" because of my propensity for Cognitive Dissonance.
End Prologue.
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That was... fun, right?
OK, so maybe some of those things need a bit of elaboration. First, lists are great and very useful, so we're gonna skip right over that. The teeth. I have genetically softer tooth enamel which makes me more likely to have cavities and to need dentistry. Despite brushing / flossing / etc-ing, I lost my first adult tooth about five years ago.
My dentist was a very cool, friendly, older Asian man. He knew this was my first time having anything like a tooth pulled, so he was really great about keeping me informed about what was going on; I went with the shots rather than the gas, so I was conscious. Near the end he told me he was almost done but was having some trouble getting the tooth all the way out of the socket and he didn't know why but it was nothing to worry about.
After a minute more, he finally gets it, rinses it off and shows me that the root has an unusual bend in it that goes a different way than anticipated, and was the cause of the struggle. He tells me this by leaning over me, slowly pulling his face mask down and saying "We call it The Devil's Horn..." to which my inner monologue response was "What. Is. Happening?" Eventually I left, all doped up and tasting blood and carrying my "Devil's Horn" tooth in a little sealed medical baggie.
The Devil's Horn
Jump to a few months back, I chipped another tooth and didn't think much of it. Of course it got exponentially worse over time and on Tuesday of last week, I went in and had that bad boy taken out too. Same sort of thing happened except this time the tooth was on my lower jaw, and those can be tougher to remove I was told. The tooth was pretty hollowed out and broke during extraction, meaning the dentist was left to remove the roots one by one. The last root started giving him trouble and after he got it out, he told me it was hooked like a letter J. "I guess all your teeth are fighters" he said.
"Well there's your problem"
So I rode the train home with what felt like a whole tube sock stuffed in my mouth, trying not to drool blood on myself and spent the next few days on a mashed cauliflower / rice pudding / apple sauce diet. The highlight of my 2016 it was not.
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One of the details I picked up in the dentist's office was the tooth in question was tooth number nineteen. In the Dark Tower series, the number 19 is of particular significance and when it shows up, it's usually a sign that something of special importance is happening, so you'd better be careful and pay attention. So hearing that really piqued my attention.
I was in the exam room, having an x-ray taken when I noticed the room number: 2125.
2 + 12 + 5 = 19
And it continued like that: My file number was 0195951, tooth extraction surgery bay was 1D14. I'll let you all do the maths yourselves. It's not hard because there are no rules. This is an example of Apophenia. Like I said above, it's the word for when people find significance in what is otherwise absolute random nonsense. It's how you may think you hear your name being called in a crowded store or think you see a cat out of the corner of your eye. There's a related condition called Pareidolia which is when you see things that are not actually a face but look to you like a face; like Jesus on a piece of toast or the Face On Mars.
"I think it looks like Michael Myers." - quote attributed to Bryan Bierman
But the example most germane to my story is something known as "the 23 enigma" which posits that most significant events and occurrences can be linked to the number 23. Despite this term being coined by famous big thinker Robert Anton Wilson and attributed by him to beat generation giant William S. Burroughs, we're probably all most familiar with it from the Jim Carrey starring psychological thriller also-ran The Number 23 (2007).
"All righty then!" - quote attributed to William S. Burroughs
Briefly, the movie is about Ace Ventura finding a mysterious book about his own life and somehow the number 23 is involved I guess? Whatever the reasoning, he becomes obsessed with it and then there's a twist ending, like maybe he was dead the whole time? (*1) I do not remember and honestly, who could give a shit?
(*1) : I swear I did actually see the movie... pretty sure.
In the Dark Tower books, once the importance of nineteen is brought to your attention, you (and the characters in the story) can't help but see it everywhere but it is especially on my mind because there's a Dark Tower movie coming (!!!) and I could almost not be more excited. Is it going to be exactly what I've always wanted out of a Dark Tower adaptation? No, there is literally no way that is possible, but it doesn't mean I won't enjoy it.
Can you tell they're well-loved?
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POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR THE DARK TOWER...
As briefly as possible, The Dark Tower series follows Roland, the last gunslinger in a world not quite our own, on his quest to reach the titular Dark Tower: the center of everything. The axis on which all of existence turns. And along the way there's gunplay, magic, monsters, love, death, offensive language, psychotic A.I., interdimensional travel, astral projection, Hey Jude, twinners, thinnies, Todash chimes, literally the most important flower in existence and an oddly endearing Bumbler named Oy.
I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE A MESS, and it is, but HOLY LORD IS IT SATISFYING. What it says about not just a person's capacity for love and change, but also what it says about the nature of stories is completely inspiring. And also very fun.
...SPOILERS END
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To help promote the movie, an app was released tied to a fictional corporation within the book series, SOMBRA. The SOMBRA app is free (*2) and gives you access to an NCP (North Central Positronics) Scanner that... doesn't do a whole hell of a lot. Unless, that is, you point it at the Dark Tower cover of Entertainment Weekly or certain tweets sent out by the film's stars, Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey or even Stephen King himself.
(*2) : If the app weren't free, I wouldn't have it. So far this blog has made me... zero dollars. But if I ever figure out how to monetize my ramblings, I'll buy so many pay-apps it'll make your head spin!
This is actually pretty cool.
Earlier this month, if you had a code from certain exclusive versions of the Dark Tower related children's book Charlie the Choo-Choo, you could access an "employees only" area of the app and take a test to see if you have The Shine. I took it and I totally do.
SO many people I wanna redrum this year...
Do I think there's any significance to my tooth being number 19? Not really. But also: yes. I am fully aware that I only really caught the 19 reference because I'm so swept up in Dark Tower stuff in expectation of the movie (*3) but at the same time, maybe it is the universe telling me to pay attention right now. And that, folks, is Cognitive Dissonance for you.
(*3) : The Dark Tower film was originally scheduled to be released on February 17, 2017 but was recently pushed back to July 28th. UPDATE: Subsequently pushed back to August 4.
According to F. Scott Fitzgerald, Cognitive Dissonance was "the test of a first rate intelligence". I know, I know, #humblebrag (*4) but I seem to do this... frequently. My "Human Headache" epithet is based on the idea that you can give yourself a headache by holding two opposing viewpoints at the same time.
(*4) R.I.P. Harris Wittels.
The most prevalent example is my ability to believe that superstitions are just silly & fun, yet to simultaneously follow several superstitions in my personal life. I pick up heads-up pennies, I never consciously step on cracks in the sidewalk, I hold my breath when driving through tunnels, etc. I'm not sure when these things started but regardless, they continue. And, as discussed, I simultaneously do and do not believe in the concept of "Signs From the Universe".
You could say I'm a Walking Contradiction, but no one would get that Green Day reference
"What's the point of this, Hunter?" you may be asking. That's a very good question; (*5) you're a very astute reader and I hope you'll continue to read my writings. The point is whatever you believe in, maybe now is a good time for you to pay particularly close attention. 2016 has not been a friendly year for most of us but maybe if we're all paying a little closer attention moving forward, 2017 can be better.
(*5) : I have a question for you. How do you know my name?
So as we all wait out the clock on this... garbage-fire of a year, I'll leave you with some unsolicited advice. Take it or leave it. Your call.
This in now the 2nd thing I think of when I hear the phrase "garbage-fire"
Pay attention.
Be as good a person as you can manage.
And maybe read more. Might I suggest The Dark Tower series?
"Long days and pleasant nights." - old mid-world saying
Happy holidays and best wishes through the New Year!
UPDATE: Here's the first official trailer for The Dark Tower movie (finally):
